Greetings, you people.
I am the Space Ghost.
If music be the food of love, then I'm going to eat lots
of the food of love.
Why?
Because my guests are crooners pat Boone and Chuck d.
Space Ghost.
Yes?
Do you suffer from...
What?
Don't be embarrassed.
What are you talking about?
Only the comfort and affordability of Dr. kwazar's industrial ointment.
Ointment?
Industrial ointment!
It's good.
Hey, Space Ghost, let me clue you in to the premise of this episode.
Zorak just got his first endorsement deal.
Deal? Let me tell you about a good deal and a good ointment-- Dr. kwazar's--
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Celebrity endorsement.
I remember my first one of those.
And this goes along with the premise.
Take that, you hot creature!
Ahh!
After I finish off a horde of nasty villains, I like to re-energize
with the delicious taste of sugarmans potted meat food product.
Sugarmans potted meat food product contains 2% real meat
food product contains 2% real meat and meat by-products.
That's right, 2% real meat to go along with superhero-sized
portions of sodium nitrate, potassium bicarbonate, pyridoxine hydrochloride,
biotin, cobalt iodate, thiamine mononitrate, thenadiol
bisulfate, sodium selenite, d-l-Alpha-tocopherol acetate,
glucuronalactone, lanacetol, pantothenic acid, and maltodextrin.
Ask for sugarmans... Meat like grandma used to pot.
Mmm. Mmm.
I thought they went out of business.
Yeah, but I got a closet full of this stuff.
That's how they paid me.
Mmm. Ah!
Suckers.
If I start like this, that would be ok?
At some point I'll take them off, maybe put them back, but that's ok?
You've obviously given this a lot of thought.
Space Ghost might, if he wants to, make some reference to the fact that--
you're wearing sunglasses?
No. He thought they had pat Boone here, but obviously... They've made
a mistake.
They've got some heavy metal rocker here or something.
Uh, sure, you can give him that option, but, uh, lose the gum.
Ok.
My first guest is my all-time favorite recording artist of all time.
I am pat Boone.
We need to lose the glasses, pat.
That could be arranged.
Did I shake you up a little bit?
No.
Listen, I am-- pat, in 1955, you recorded the monster hit
April love.
Pat, in 1955, you recorded the monster hit April love.
Who was your inspiration for that masterpiece?
Well, yes, I was influenced.
I don't know if you remember the great name bing Crosby.
Der bingle!
Der bingle. You're right.
Hey, you continually amaze me. Yes.
That's because I'm amazing.
Did you know I invented the cotton gin because I needed a more efficient way
to de-seed my cotton bales?
And get this.
I've never owned a watch.
Good.
Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin!
Lies! Stop with your slanderous lies!
Just because you've never done anything, you lazy piece of space garbage!
The look, the feel of cotton.
That's all mine!
It does not surprise me.
It really doesn't surprise me.
Zorak, every time you swab your filthy ears, you should fall to your knees
and thank me for me and my amazing invention!
Yeah, I'll do that.
Pat, do you suffer from inflammation?
Boy, I don't know about you space creatures, but earthlings
need lots of fiber.
It's fiberlicious, pat.
Yeah. Keeps you going good.
Do you use the ointment?
Zorak, a talk show is not the place to promote your personal projects!
Boy, scolding zorak sure builds up a man-sized appetite.
I could go for a bowl of pulverized organ mash basted in sweet
intestinal bile fluids.
Then strap on your bib, Space Ghost, and saddle up to a heaping helping
of sugarmans bovine-flavored potted meat!
Have a cow, man!
A sugarman cow!
You certainly-- hey, that could be your slogan.
Whoa! Hey, pat, we're reading each other's heads.
I know. See?
And I'm enjoying this.
Hey, why are you guys just sitting there, huh?
Ha ha ha!
Zorak has a tiny brain.
Yeah. Well, maybe you got a point.
Ahem.
Do you remember that time at radio city?
I was the one in the third row from the back-- you know, the one with
the mask and the cape, and I was saying, "go, pat. Sing another song."
That was a little cheer I made up.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah.
Go, pat.
Sing another song.
Go, pat.
Sing another song.
* La la la la la la la la la la la *
Go pat.
Sing another song.
* Space Ghost
* He's the space most
* Yes, the Space Ghost now, see, that's only got one note.
But the way you sing it, pat, makes me think it's got at least 3.
* Space Ghost * ah ah * he's the space most * ah ah * yeah, the Space Ghost
* ah ah ah * he's the Space Ghost anyway, we can take it from there.
There should probably be at least one other melodic note.
We should cut that, man.
We should go into the studio and lay that bad boy down right now
while the creative juices are still flowing!
Come on, pat, let's go!
Pat!
How'd your session go?
Sweet as ice!
Oh, yeah?
I had to punch pat in the jaw a couple of times,
but other than that, I'd say we built a wall of groove.
Well, let's hear it.
Pat's still tinkering with the mix.
And now let's mess up the mix for rap artist Chuck d.
Hey, thanks a lot.
Greetings, Chuck, old buddy.
What's up, Space Ghost?
I've been a fan of yours since about 1966. Remember?
Ahh...1966.
Those 4 numerals, placed sequentially, still look the same.
Chuck, do you use the ointment?
Zorak!
I'm just asking.
Zorak!
I'm just asking.
Don't answer that, Chuck.
My bandleader is wack.
There's no such thing as anybody being wack.
It just means that you need to work on your stuff a little better.
Oh, he's wack all right.
He's a wacky pack!
Oh, he's wack all right.
He's a wacky pack!
Ok.
I have a rap question.
Do rappers use the ointment?
Ok, zorak. I'm sick of this.
Tell us about your amazing ointment tell us about
your amazing ointment and get it out of your system
so you'll shut up!
It, um, oh, um... It's--it's good.
It's good ointment.
Is that it?
Are you done?
It, uh, it--it makes your skin all creamy and nice.
Here. Dab some on your face.
No!
Ok, it's--I mean, you don't have to.
It's your loss, really.
Shut up!
It's your skin.
Shut up!
But see, look at my pincers.
Shut up!
Ok!
Chuck, you want to run some ball later?
I can make a lay-up.
I used to dunk when I was in 11th grade.
I have to bounce the ball with both hands.
I hear you.
You ever go down to the run and shoot?
Uh, no, but one time I blew up a porta-potty.
Oh, I hear you.
I had to change clothes after that.
Now, Chuck, my favorite rapper is m. C. Escher.
I could tell.
Please, escher, don't hurt him.
Chuck, how do you feel about the east coast/
west coast beef?
East coast/west coast?
Oh, I just think it's largely fake.
All right.
So don't believe the hype.
Chuck, what's with all the record scratching?
I mean, records aren't made to take that kind of a beating.
Ha ha ha!
Maybe not, Space Ghost.
You like goody mo b?
Yeah. Goody mo's the bomb.
Now, goody mo, fugees-- yeah. Goody mo's the bomb.
Now, goody mo, fugees-- wu tang!
Yeah, wu tang.
They're hitting near the bottom. I think-- you don't have to
talk to zorak, Chuck.
He's not dope or fresh!
He was asking some pretty good rap questions.
Pt-pt-pt-pt-pt...
* Well, I'm the space goblin, and I'm here to say *
* that staying in school is a-ok *
* if you want a good job and you want to do right *
Well, look, everyone.
It's the rapping space goblin, here to do us a solid
by providing some valuable information for you kids out there.
Let's listen.
* Well, I'm the space goblin, and I'm here to say *
* that if you're crossing the street *
* you best look both ways say, Chuck, would you care to break some rhymes
with the rapping space goblin?
No.
Your loss.
Rapping space goblin, what's the word on the street regarding
a healthy diet?
* Well...
* I'm the space goblin, and I'm here to say *
* that eating vegetables is a-ok *
* like this and-- aah!
Ah, there we go.
Zorak, you have destroyed an important educational tool.
So?
And a dear friend.
Aah!
Everything is cool.
Everything's peace in here, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now let's listen to Mr. pat Boone and I performing my new
hit single Space Ghost, he's the space most.
* Space Ghost
* he's the space most * I'm the Space Ghost * yes, the Space Ghost
* Space Ghost * he's the space most * he's the space most
* yes, the Space Ghost * Space Ghost * ah ah you know the words!
* He's the space most * I'm the space most *
* yeah, the Space Ghost * yeah, the Space Ghost * he's the space most
* I'm the space most * yes, the Space Ghost * that's me
* he's the space most * I'm the one * yes, the Space Ghost...
* The Space Ghost * la la la la la la